My spam from “Robert Mueller of the FBI

NOTE: If you’re not sniff­ing glue at this very moment, you might not find this piece of spam email fun­ny. But I thought it was too hilar­i­ous not to repro­duce. –RL

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
Fbi Head­quar­ters In Wash­ing­ton, D.C.
Fed­er­al Bureau Of Inves­ti­ga­tion
J. Edgar Hoover Build­ing
935 Penn­syl­va­nia Avenue, NW Wash­ing­ton, D.C. 20535–0001 Web­site:
www.fbi.gov

Attention„this is the final warn­ing you are going to receive from me do
you get me?

I hope you under­stand how many times this mes­sage has been sent to you?.

We have warned you so many times and you have decid­ed to ignore our
e-mails or because you believe we have not been instruct­ed to get you
arrest­ed, and today if you fail to respond back to us with the pay­ment
then, we would first send a let­ter to the may­or of the city where you
reside and direct them to close your bank account until you have been
jailed and all your prop­er­ties will be con­fis­cat­ed by the FBI. We would
also send a let­ter to the company/agency that you are work­ing for so that
they could get you fired until we are through with our inves­ti­ga­tions
because a sus­pect is not sup­pose to be work­ing for the gov­ern­ment or any
pri­vate orga­ni­za­tion.

Your id which we have in our data­base been sent to all the crimes agen­cies
in Amer­i­ca for them to inset you in their web­site as an inter­net fraud­sters
and to warn peo­ple from hav­ing any deals with you. This would have been
solved all this while if you had got­ten the cer­tifi­cate signed, endorsed
and stamped as you where instruct­ed in the e-mail below. this is the
fed­er­al bureau of inves­ti­ga­tion (FBI) am writ­ing in response to the e-mail
you sent to us and am using this medi­um to inform you that there is no more
time left to waste because you have been giv­en from the 3rd of Jan­u­ary. As
stat­ed ear­li­er to have the doc­u­ment endorsed, signed and stamped with­out
fail­ure and you must adhere to this direc­tives to avoid you blam­ing
your­self at last when we must have arrest­ed and jailed you for life and all
your prop­er­ties con­fis­cat­ed.

You failed to com­ply with our direc­tives and that was the rea­son why we
didn’t hear from you on the 3rd as our direc­tor has already been noti­fied
about you get the process com­plet­ed yes­ter­day and right now the war­rant of
arrest has been signed against you and it will be car­ried out in the next
48hours as strict­ly signed by the(FBI) direc­tor. We have inves­ti­gat­ed and
found out that you didn’t have any idea when the fraud­u­lent deal was
com­mit­ted with your information’s/identity and right now if you id is
placed on our web­site as a want­ed per­son, i believe you know that it will
be a shame to you and your entire fam­i­ly because after then it will be
announce in all the local chan­nels that you are want­ed by the FBI. As a
good Chris­t­ian and a hon­est man, I decid­ed to see how i could be of help to
you because i would not be hap­py to see you end up in jail and all your
prop­er­ties con­fis­cat­ed all because your information’s was used to car­ry out
a fraud­u­lent trans­ac­tions, i called the efcc and they direct­ed me to a
pri­vate attor­ney who could help you get the process done and he stat­ed that
he will endorse, sign and stamp the doc­u­ment at the sum of $98.00 usd only
and i believe this process is cheap­er for you.

You need to do every­thing pos­si­ble with­in today and tomor­row to get this
process done because our direc­tor has called to inform me that the war­rant
of arrest has been signed against you and once it has been approved, then
the arrest will be car­ried out, and from our inves­ti­ga­tions we learnt that
you were the per­son that for­ward­ed your iden­ti­ty to one impostor/fraudsters
in Nige­ria when he had a deal with you about the trans­fer of some ille­gal
funds into your bank account which is val­ued at the sum of $10.500,000.00
usd.

I plead­ed on your behalf so that this agency could give you till28/06/2013
so that you could get this process done because i learnt that you were sent
sev­er­al e-mail with­out get­ting a response from you, please bear it in mind
that this is the only way that i can be able to help you at this moment or
you would have to face the law and its con­se­quences once it has befall on
you. You would make the pay­ment through west­ern union mon­ey trans­fer with
the below details.

NAME: AKU DIMMA
ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION:FOR
ANSWER: YOU
AMOUNT: $98
Senders name======

Send the pay­ment details to me which are senders name and address, mtcn
num­ber, text ques­tion and answer used and the amount sent. Make sure that
you didn’t hes­i­tate mak­ing the pay­ment down to the agency by today so that
they could have the cer­tifi­cate endorsed, signed and stamped imme­di­ate­ly
with­out any fur­ther delay. After all this process has been car­ried out,
then we would have to pro­ceed to the bank for the trans­fer of your
com­pen­sa­tion funds which is val­ued at the sum of $10.500,000.00 usd which
was sup­pose to have been trans­ferred to you all this while.

Note/ all the crimes agen­cies have been con­tact­ed on this regards and we
shall trace and arrest you if you dis­re­gard this instruc­tions. You are
giv­en a grace today to make the pay­ment for the doc­u­ment after which your
fail­ure to do that will attract a max­i­mum arrest and final­ly you will be
appear­ing in court for act of ter­ror­ism, mon­ey laun­der­ing and drug
traf­fick­ing charges, so be warned not to try any thing fun­ny because you
are been watched.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

ROBERT MUELLER

WASHINGTON DC

Anti-Ter­ror­ist and Mon­e­tary Crimes Divi­sion
Fbi Head­quar­ters In Wash­ing­ton, D.C.
Fed­er­al Bureau Of Inves­ti­ga­tion
J. Edgar Hoover Build­ing
935 Penn­syl­va­nia Avenue, NW Wash­ing­ton, D.C. 20535–0001 Web­site:
www.fbi.gov

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